Tuesday, November 5, 2013

First-World Problems and My Imaginary Hostage Situation

When's the last time you read a book that really stuck with you? My answer is easy. Last week I finished a little treasure called House in the Sky by Amanda Lindhout. Loosely, it's the true memoir of a world traveler who finds herself in the wrong country at the wrong time. While the story line is gripping and stomach churning, I found myself luxuriating in my insulated, routine, cushy life. It's extremely unlikely I'll ever find myself kidnapped and tortured for ransom in a war-torn country, but if it were to happen right here in my suburban utopia, there are a number of things that would get me to spill the beans and beg the US government to pay off my abductors.




In no particular order:
  1. Make me watch Ghost...on a loop 
  2. Force feed me blue, feta, goat or swiss
  3. Have me help anyone over 5th grade with math
  4. Take away my Keurig
  5. Pick your toenails in my presence
  6. Put me in a bikini
  7. Insist I watch live TV, commercials and all
  8. Discontinue keratin treatments
  9. Leave me in a room with uncaged birds
  10. Force me to pay attention while my kids recite their dreams 



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